Better Armstrong?

Which is the better Armstrong..Lance or Stretch?

Toughy I know. We better disect this in order to come out with a true victor. Lance was born in ’71 while Stretch didn’t grace our presence on this earth until ’78, clearly giving Strecth the advantage when it comes to youth. However, Lance has won 12 Grand Tours (not that I need to tell you, obviously you’ve watched them) which means his endurance and stamina is unparalled. Conditioning Edge..Lance Armstrong.

Disabilities can ravage an athlete and none has had it worse than Lance Armstong. Lance was diagnosed with testicular cancer in 1996, but Lance being the consimate professional that he is made a valliant comeback in 1998. Lance showed a great deal of testicular fortitude (for lack of a better phrase) in his return to competition. Stretch on the other hand has never been diagnosed with any major ailments. However, anyone who has ever owned a Stretch Armstrong would tell you that the questionable gooey gel that spewed from his body when you would stretch him too far would always, without fail, spelled his doom for the lil' guy if you couldn’t get him patched up in time. Overcoming Adveristy Edge…Stretch Armstrong

Longevity is the quality in an athlete or action figure that can take him/her from great to legendary. For Strecth Armstrong, he had a solid run for about 16 years, invading households across the nation…spewing his gel across throw rugs all over America, until he quickly fizzled out of the mainstream. He left an indedible mark on our nations culture, one that should not be soon forgotten. In fact, everyone’s favorite boy turned puppy Taylor Launter will be playing him in a movie coming out sometime next year. While all of that is magnificent and impressive, Sir Lance Armstrong has been riding his bicycle for over 23 years! And I’m not talking about when he first got on a trike bike, I’m talking competitve bicycle riding (its hard to say that with a straight face). Lance dominated bike riding for the better part of 2 decades until this last Tour De France where he came in 7th or 42nd or something, who knows, no one watches. So, the natural choice in this final segment of the debate should be Lance Armstrong…curveball! I can not award Lance the victory due to allegations about possible drug use. PED’S are not tolerated on this blog site and therefore Lance is disqualified, giving non-other than Stretch Armstrong the decisive victory as better Armstrong.